Bad Romance: 10 Phrases Never to Say to Your Customers

Your brand’s image isn’t defined by your logo. Your message isn’t controlled by your latest carefully crafted ad campaign. Your reputation isn’t wrapped up in your website.

In today’s age of social media, each and every one of your customers holds a megaphone, and he who holds the megaphone controls the message.

As a result, every single interaction your customers have with your brand shapes not only the way they perceive your company and its values but how they share and spread that perception to others in their circles.

So in this world where every word-of-mouth message has the potential to be amplified hundreds or even thousands of times over, what can you do to protect your brand’s good name?

Of course, when times are good and everyone’s happy, it’s not too hard to provide a positive experience. But what about when things go wrong? What do you do when you’ve got a disappointed, frustrated, irate or even irrational customer on your hands? That’s when your problem-solving savvy is really put to the test.

In situations like these, it’s critical to ensure that every employee at every level of your company is thoroughly trained in tactics for transforming a conflict or complaint into a positive experience.

Here are 10 phrases you must absolutely, positively never ever say to a customer when your brand’s reputation is on the line:

That's our policy...

You care about your policies, but you know who doesn’t? Your customers. All they care about is getting their problem fixed.

Using policy as the justification for why you can't achieve this goal will fall flat every time. Of course you can’t let your customer walk all over you and it is sometimes necessary to draw a line, but you have little to risk by finding ways to work within those policies to offer an innovative solution.

There's nothing I can do...

This statement will make any customer’s blood boil. When you say “There’s nothing I can do,” what they hear is “You and your business don’t matter to us.” You might as well throw in the towel and walk away.

There's always something that can be done, even if it requires a little creativity and compromise. Make sure to give your employees leeway to improvise when necessary. A minor concession costs nothing compared to the impact of an angry customer blasting you on Twitter.

What you need to do is...

When customers call, they’re looking to you to fix their problem, not to be told how to fix it themselves.

Of course, there are some situations where it’s appropriate and even necessary to walk a customer through the steps required to solve a problem. Just be sure to choose your words carefully. The difference between saying “What you need to do” and “Let’s try this” is conveying the sense that you’re on their side and that you’re committed to working together hand-in-hand until their issue has been resolved.

I'm new at this...

Again, nobody cares. You might as well tell a customer that they should hang up, call back and hope to have better luck in reaching someone more competent.

Rather than exposing your weakness, simply bring in someone with more expertise and experience to help navigate this sticky situation. Your customer will appreciate the hands-on team approach, and you’ll benefit from learning from a pro.

No...

Ouch! Never, ever drop the "no" bomb. If you don’t make a concerted effort to solve the problem at hand, you can kiss that customer – and every other existing or prospective customer who will listen to their tale of woe – goodbye.

I don't believe...

I'm not sure...

We don't...

Take your pick, but these are all thinly veiled ways of saying “no,” which we’ve already established is the not the right answer. Save your breath and spend your time and energy looking for ways to be helpful and find viable alternatives.

There’s no one else here you can talk to...

Unless you are literally a one-man operation, customers know you're lying when they hear this statement. There's always someone higher up that can step in.

Telling someone there's nobody else they can talk to is tantamount to saying, "You’re not worth our time." This isn’t going to diffuse their anger and will likely send them packing, irate enough to leave horrible reviews all over the Web.

I don't know how to help you with that...

This phrase is problematic even when the best of intentions are meant by the employee offering support.

Sometimes a customer will ask tough questions. Instead of saying you don't know what to do, take a proactive role in connecting them with the correct resource within the company who can handle their problem.

That's not my job...

Wrong. No matter who you are or what your job title is, keeping your customers happy is your number one responsibility. Just do it.

I hate my job...

This company sucks...

These types of statements tend to surface when both the customer and the employee are in a state of emotional upset. It’s the equivalent of telling a customer that they're not going to find any help here.

Bad-mouthing the company is never the right answer, no matter what the situation. It can do immeasurable damage, and in reality, even the angriest customer doesn’t really want commiseration.

They don't care about your opinion. They’ve taken the time to give you a chance to make it right, and they want a solution.

If you find yourself reaching a breaking point where you feel the need to make statements like this, take a step back and clear your head. You may not feel that you’re getting the support you need from your company, but customers don't need to hear this. If necessary, ask if you can put them on hold momentarily while you "search for the solution." Then take some deep breaths, get help and do whatever you need to do to rejoin the conversation with a positive attitude.

{Nothing...}

Silence is the absolute worst thing a customer can hear from you.

If it’s necessary to put a caller on hold, don't keep them waiting long. Even better, get their information and tell them you’ll call them back (and then make sure you do – promptly!).

If they’re asking tough questions or getting frustrated, responding with silence will only add fuel to their fire. But that doesn’t mean you must have the right answer on the tip of your tongue, either.

Starting with genuine empathy is a great way to diffuse the situation. Even a simple, "Yes, sir, I can see why you are upset. Let me see what I can do to help you out," will buy you some time to organize your thoughts and collect your composure so that you can confidently work toward a mutually agreeable solution.

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The Art of Not Talking

Competing for attention in the age of information overload

The barrage of information coming at us these days is constant and unrelenting. From our news and social media feeds to our overflowing inboxes to the screens of our computers, phones and televisions, we’re surrounded at every turn by someone or something vying for our attention and trying to force their voice or message to be heard above the raging din of noise. As communicators, our instinctual response usually goes something like this: be more creative, more outrageous, more entertaining, more shocking – the list goes on and on. We want to make sure that, no matter what, we’re talking louder than all the other guys so all eyes and ears are on us. But what if there’s more to it than just dialing up the volume? What if there’s a better way to stand out from the crowd?

Turn down the volume, turn up the engagement

Normal communication between humans is a two-way street, a give and take. So why should the interactions that occur between companies and their customers be any different? Better customer engagement starts with mastering the discipline of being willing to shut up and listen. Truly effective communication is not just a matter of making sure that our point of view or our sales pitch is being heard. Better customer engagement starts with mastering the discipline of – for lack of a better term – the willingness to shut up and listen. The concept of listening is certainly not new, but in the age of social media when everyone has their own soap box, it is practiced all too infrequently. I was struck anew by this fact a few months ago during a casual conversation with a friend. His family had experienced a couple of rough weeks, thanks to a stomach bug that was working its way through their household, so I asked for an update on how everyone was doing. To be clear: I genuinely cared for and wanted to hear about the well-being of his family. But no sooner had I asked the question than my mind immediately turned to thoughts of my own family and the health issues we’d been dealing with of late. The moment he stopped talking, I launched right into a litany of my own troubles. Whether he was aware of it or not, I had done a terrible job, not only of listening, but of being a good friend. There’s a similar danger when it comes to your company’s relationships with its customers. It’s easy to become so wrapped up in strategizing and crafting the communication that you want to send out into the world that you forget to consider your audience. However, today’s customers won’t stand for being force-fed one-way marketing messages. When they realize that you’ve tuned them out, they’ll do the same to you in return. The likelihood of falling into the trap of narcissistic communication is especially great for well-established companies. When you have a history of success, it’s easy to assume that everyone loves you and you can get by on the status quo. However, past victories are no guarantee of future performance. As soon as you start buying into your own myth and believing your own legend, you’re on the fast track to obsolescence. It’s time to stop talking and start listening.

Tune out the noise and respond to their needs

Obviously, listening is not the answer in and of itself. If the solution were that simple, then this piece would have been called the “art of listening.” Because we are so inundated with information, we’ve all gotten really good at multi-tasking. We maintain a constant juggling act of phone calls, emails, status updates, web surfing and work tasks without giving our full, undivided attention to any one of them. As a result, mastering the art of not talking requires you to do more than listen to your customers. It demands the self-discipline to shut out all the other noise so that you can actually hear what your customers are saying, recognize what they truly need or want and respond to meet those needs. Once you relinquish your tunnel vision about “this is the way we’ve always done things, this is the way we’ve always communicated, etc.” and learn to bow to the wisdom of your tribe, the path to business growth will be mapped out for you. You’ll know how to innovate because your customers have told you. You’ll be in a position to own your market because you’re not just out there making noise, you’re giving your tribe what they really want.

Achieve a better balance

The point is this: obviously there’s a time and place to express who you are, what your company stands for and what you have to offer. But don’t let that supersede the need to listen and listen well. Focus on the quality of your interactions, not the volume. Whatever you do, don’t equate the ability to make noise with the ability to get and keep customers. All too many people want to boast about how many times a day they tweet or how many different social profiles they maintain, but sheer volume means nothing if the information you’re broadcasting is mostly worthless and the quality of your interactions is shallow and superficial. Instead, concentrate on being a balanced communicator. Speak when necessary, listen voraciously and respond generously. Your customers will thank you with actions that amount to much more than just words.

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