Bad Romance: 10 Phrases Never to Say to Your Customers

Your brand’s image isn’t defined by your logo. Your message isn’t controlled by your latest carefully crafted ad campaign. Your reputation isn’t wrapped up in your website.

In today’s age of social media, each and every one of your customers holds a megaphone, and he who holds the megaphone controls the message.

As a result, every single interaction your customers have with your brand shapes not only the way they perceive your company and its values but how they share and spread that perception to others in their circles.

So in this world where every word-of-mouth message has the potential to be amplified hundreds or even thousands of times over, what can you do to protect your brand’s good name?

Of course, when times are good and everyone’s happy, it’s not too hard to provide a positive experience. But what about when things go wrong? What do you do when you’ve got a disappointed, frustrated, irate or even irrational customer on your hands? That’s when your problem-solving savvy is really put to the test.

In situations like these, it’s critical to ensure that every employee at every level of your company is thoroughly trained in tactics for transforming a conflict or complaint into a positive experience.

Here are 10 phrases you must absolutely, positively never ever say to a customer when your brand’s reputation is on the line:

That's our policy...

You care about your policies, but you know who doesn’t? Your customers. All they care about is getting their problem fixed.

Using policy as the justification for why you can't achieve this goal will fall flat every time. Of course you can’t let your customer walk all over you and it is sometimes necessary to draw a line, but you have little to risk by finding ways to work within those policies to offer an innovative solution.

There's nothing I can do...

This statement will make any customer’s blood boil. When you say “There’s nothing I can do,” what they hear is “You and your business don’t matter to us.” You might as well throw in the towel and walk away.

There's always something that can be done, even if it requires a little creativity and compromise. Make sure to give your employees leeway to improvise when necessary. A minor concession costs nothing compared to the impact of an angry customer blasting you on Twitter.

What you need to do is...

When customers call, they’re looking to you to fix their problem, not to be told how to fix it themselves.

Of course, there are some situations where it’s appropriate and even necessary to walk a customer through the steps required to solve a problem. Just be sure to choose your words carefully. The difference between saying “What you need to do” and “Let’s try this” is conveying the sense that you’re on their side and that you’re committed to working together hand-in-hand until their issue has been resolved.

I'm new at this...

Again, nobody cares. You might as well tell a customer that they should hang up, call back and hope to have better luck in reaching someone more competent.

Rather than exposing your weakness, simply bring in someone with more expertise and experience to help navigate this sticky situation. Your customer will appreciate the hands-on team approach, and you’ll benefit from learning from a pro.

No...

Ouch! Never, ever drop the "no" bomb. If you don’t make a concerted effort to solve the problem at hand, you can kiss that customer – and every other existing or prospective customer who will listen to their tale of woe – goodbye.

I don't believe...

I'm not sure...

We don't...

Take your pick, but these are all thinly veiled ways of saying “no,” which we’ve already established is the not the right answer. Save your breath and spend your time and energy looking for ways to be helpful and find viable alternatives.

There’s no one else here you can talk to...

Unless you are literally a one-man operation, customers know you're lying when they hear this statement. There's always someone higher up that can step in.

Telling someone there's nobody else they can talk to is tantamount to saying, "You’re not worth our time." This isn’t going to diffuse their anger and will likely send them packing, irate enough to leave horrible reviews all over the Web.

I don't know how to help you with that...

This phrase is problematic even when the best of intentions are meant by the employee offering support.

Sometimes a customer will ask tough questions. Instead of saying you don't know what to do, take a proactive role in connecting them with the correct resource within the company who can handle their problem.

That's not my job...

Wrong. No matter who you are or what your job title is, keeping your customers happy is your number one responsibility. Just do it.

I hate my job...

This company sucks...

These types of statements tend to surface when both the customer and the employee are in a state of emotional upset. It’s the equivalent of telling a customer that they're not going to find any help here.

Bad-mouthing the company is never the right answer, no matter what the situation. It can do immeasurable damage, and in reality, even the angriest customer doesn’t really want commiseration.

They don't care about your opinion. They’ve taken the time to give you a chance to make it right, and they want a solution.

If you find yourself reaching a breaking point where you feel the need to make statements like this, take a step back and clear your head. You may not feel that you’re getting the support you need from your company, but customers don't need to hear this. If necessary, ask if you can put them on hold momentarily while you "search for the solution." Then take some deep breaths, get help and do whatever you need to do to rejoin the conversation with a positive attitude.

{Nothing...}

Silence is the absolute worst thing a customer can hear from you.

If it’s necessary to put a caller on hold, don't keep them waiting long. Even better, get their information and tell them you’ll call them back (and then make sure you do – promptly!).

If they’re asking tough questions or getting frustrated, responding with silence will only add fuel to their fire. But that doesn’t mean you must have the right answer on the tip of your tongue, either.

Starting with genuine empathy is a great way to diffuse the situation. Even a simple, "Yes, sir, I can see why you are upset. Let me see what I can do to help you out," will buy you some time to organize your thoughts and collect your composure so that you can confidently work toward a mutually agreeable solution.

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McDonald’s "Pay With Lovin’" Campaign: A Cautionary Tale of Good PR Gone Wrong

During this year’s Super Bowl, McDonald’s ran a very interesting commercial, not about a special new sandwich or other changes to the fast-food giant’s menu, but about how customers may be able to pay for the items on that menu. Dubbed “Pay With Lovin”, this new promotion allows select customers to pay for their order with kindness of some kind. As shown in the ad, you can make a call to a family member and tell them that you love them, give someone a compliment, or even do a little dance in exchange for your Big Mac and fries. The ad itself is actually very well done and touching, and the entire campaign is an interesting change from a company that is certainly not seen in a favorable light by many consumers (McDonald’s is always at or near the top of “Worst Fast-Food Restaurant” surveys and lists). In this article, we will take a look at why this new promotion from McDonald’s is a good move for the company and what we may be able to learn from this campaign.

The perception of McDonald's

When someone says “McDonald’s” to you, what do you immediately think of? If your answer is “cheap, low-quality food”, then you are not alone. Right or wrong, McDonald’s has long been known by many for inexpensive, mediocre food. The company’s decisions over the years, like their “value menu” of very low cost items, has certainly contributed to this perception. Today, restaurants like Chipotle and Panera continue to grow in popularity by offering customers quick service, but with better quality (and more expensive) meal options than the traditional fast-food restaurants offer. These restaurants, often known as “Fast-Casual”, have taken business away from McDonalds while further cementing their place as the go-to location for that aforementioned “cheap food.” So how does McDonald’s start to move away from this negative perception of their brand – they begin by changing the conversation.

Changing the conversation

McDonald’s latest promotion has nothing to do with their food or their prices, the two things for which they are most commonly known in negative light. This “Pay With Lovin” campaign is all about fun and good feelings. It is part contest, part giveaway, and part customer appreciation event all rolled into one.  The campaign itself is a very interesting experiment. Between February 2nd and the 14th, each participating McDonald’s location will have 100 total “prizes”, with a select number of customers selected by random each day. Those random customers will be given the opportunity to “Pay With Lovin” and use a fun expression of kindness instead of money when they are ordering their meal. There is excitement to this promotion as customers wonder if they will be chosen for this “Pay With Lovin” opportunity. It also provides McDonalds with a great way to connect with those customers in a way that they have never done before. In an article on Inc.com, McDonald’s Chief Marketing officer, Deborah Wahl, says, “We’re on a journey of transformation and a key part of that journey is how we engage with our customers.” McDonalds realizes that to change the negative perception of their brand, they need to change the conversation, and they are starting that change by interacting with their customers in a fun way that is designed to make people feel good.

People are talking

Another great aspect of this promotion is that people are talking about McDonalds – and it is not in a negative way! The company has given customers something to get excited about and something to share with others. That moment of delight when a customer is informed that they can “Pay With Lovin”, and the fun that happens from that event, is something people can enjoy and then share on social media by telling others about the experience. This will further spread the good cheer and the positive vibes for a brand that has seen far too few of those in recent years. The fact that people are being nice and kind as part of this campaign just adds to the positive vibes of the promotion, and while I am sure there will be the occasional sourpuss who will refuse to engage in this idea (you can’t please everyone, no matter how hard you try), the majority of customers who are told their order is free if they simply spread some love will be happy to do so!

What’s next?

So changing the conversation is a great start for McDonalds, but what comes next? This promotion, as innovative as it is, is a short term initiative. Once this campaign is over, McDonald’s will be back to being known as that cheap, low quality fast food restaurant unless they make some additional moves in their business. If they want to truly change the conversation in the long term, they need to build on what they have started here – but at least they have found a place to start.

What can we learn?

So what marketing lessons can we take away from McDonald’s “Pay With Lovin” campaign?

1. If people are speaking negatively about your brand, finding a way to change the conversation is a good start to changing perception.
2. If you want to change the conversation, start with your existing customers and change how they talk and think about your company.
3. Engaging customers in ways that are fun and unique will get people excited and talking, which encourages them to tell others about their experience. The more people they tell, the quicker the conversation around your brand moves towards the positive.
4. A campaign like this is a great start, but if you have larger problems, you still need to fix those issues or risk falling back exactly to where you were before your campaign began.

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