Bad Romance: 10 Phrases Never to Say to Your Customers

Your brand’s image isn’t defined by your logo. Your message isn’t controlled by your latest carefully crafted ad campaign. Your reputation isn’t wrapped up in your website.

In today’s age of social media, each and every one of your customers holds a megaphone, and he who holds the megaphone controls the message.

As a result, every single interaction your customers have with your brand shapes not only the way they perceive your company and its values but how they share and spread that perception to others in their circles.

So in this world where every word-of-mouth message has the potential to be amplified hundreds or even thousands of times over, what can you do to protect your brand’s good name?

Of course, when times are good and everyone’s happy, it’s not too hard to provide a positive experience. But what about when things go wrong? What do you do when you’ve got a disappointed, frustrated, irate or even irrational customer on your hands? That’s when your problem-solving savvy is really put to the test.

In situations like these, it’s critical to ensure that every employee at every level of your company is thoroughly trained in tactics for transforming a conflict or complaint into a positive experience.

Here are 10 phrases you must absolutely, positively never ever say to a customer when your brand’s reputation is on the line:

That's our policy...

You care about your policies, but you know who doesn’t? Your customers. All they care about is getting their problem fixed.

Using policy as the justification for why you can't achieve this goal will fall flat every time. Of course you can’t let your customer walk all over you and it is sometimes necessary to draw a line, but you have little to risk by finding ways to work within those policies to offer an innovative solution.

There's nothing I can do...

This statement will make any customer’s blood boil. When you say “There’s nothing I can do,” what they hear is “You and your business don’t matter to us.” You might as well throw in the towel and walk away.

There's always something that can be done, even if it requires a little creativity and compromise. Make sure to give your employees leeway to improvise when necessary. A minor concession costs nothing compared to the impact of an angry customer blasting you on Twitter.

What you need to do is...

When customers call, they’re looking to you to fix their problem, not to be told how to fix it themselves.

Of course, there are some situations where it’s appropriate and even necessary to walk a customer through the steps required to solve a problem. Just be sure to choose your words carefully. The difference between saying “What you need to do” and “Let’s try this” is conveying the sense that you’re on their side and that you’re committed to working together hand-in-hand until their issue has been resolved.

I'm new at this...

Again, nobody cares. You might as well tell a customer that they should hang up, call back and hope to have better luck in reaching someone more competent.

Rather than exposing your weakness, simply bring in someone with more expertise and experience to help navigate this sticky situation. Your customer will appreciate the hands-on team approach, and you’ll benefit from learning from a pro.

No...

Ouch! Never, ever drop the "no" bomb. If you don’t make a concerted effort to solve the problem at hand, you can kiss that customer – and every other existing or prospective customer who will listen to their tale of woe – goodbye.

I don't believe...

I'm not sure...

We don't...

Take your pick, but these are all thinly veiled ways of saying “no,” which we’ve already established is the not the right answer. Save your breath and spend your time and energy looking for ways to be helpful and find viable alternatives.

There’s no one else here you can talk to...

Unless you are literally a one-man operation, customers know you're lying when they hear this statement. There's always someone higher up that can step in.

Telling someone there's nobody else they can talk to is tantamount to saying, "You’re not worth our time." This isn’t going to diffuse their anger and will likely send them packing, irate enough to leave horrible reviews all over the Web.

I don't know how to help you with that...

This phrase is problematic even when the best of intentions are meant by the employee offering support.

Sometimes a customer will ask tough questions. Instead of saying you don't know what to do, take a proactive role in connecting them with the correct resource within the company who can handle their problem.

That's not my job...

Wrong. No matter who you are or what your job title is, keeping your customers happy is your number one responsibility. Just do it.

I hate my job...

This company sucks...

These types of statements tend to surface when both the customer and the employee are in a state of emotional upset. It’s the equivalent of telling a customer that they're not going to find any help here.

Bad-mouthing the company is never the right answer, no matter what the situation. It can do immeasurable damage, and in reality, even the angriest customer doesn’t really want commiseration.

They don't care about your opinion. They’ve taken the time to give you a chance to make it right, and they want a solution.

If you find yourself reaching a breaking point where you feel the need to make statements like this, take a step back and clear your head. You may not feel that you’re getting the support you need from your company, but customers don't need to hear this. If necessary, ask if you can put them on hold momentarily while you "search for the solution." Then take some deep breaths, get help and do whatever you need to do to rejoin the conversation with a positive attitude.

{Nothing...}

Silence is the absolute worst thing a customer can hear from you.

If it’s necessary to put a caller on hold, don't keep them waiting long. Even better, get their information and tell them you’ll call them back (and then make sure you do – promptly!).

If they’re asking tough questions or getting frustrated, responding with silence will only add fuel to their fire. But that doesn’t mean you must have the right answer on the tip of your tongue, either.

Starting with genuine empathy is a great way to diffuse the situation. Even a simple, "Yes, sir, I can see why you are upset. Let me see what I can do to help you out," will buy you some time to organize your thoughts and collect your composure so that you can confidently work toward a mutually agreeable solution.

Get it Write: How to Use White Papers to Establish Your Expertise

Growing a business in today’s marketplace begins and ends with building trust with your customers.

There’s no more direct route to earning that trust than by demonstrating your expertise in your field. If you can convince a prospective customer that you not only understand their needs and problems but know exactly what’s required to solve them, then it’s hardly a big leap for them to believe that you’re the best one for the job.

White papers are a marketing tactic that provides a proving ground for your expertise. By conveying objective information, thorough analysis and useful insights, a white paper is an effective strategy for cementing your customers’ confidence and trust in the products or services you offer.

Here’s what you need to know to create a successful white paper that will help you capture and convert more customers:

What is a white paper, exactly, and how is it different from a blog article?

A white paper is an in-depth report on a specific topic. White papers differ from blog posts in tone, scope, length and audience.

Unlike blog articles, white papers are not designed for the casual reader but for one who is seeking comprehensive information in order to help them achieve a specific objective or make an important purchasing decision. Also, while blog posts are conversational in tone and based largely in opinion, white papers should be formal and fact based.

There is no set length that your white paper must be to qualify. Depending on the topic, a well-written, well-supported four-page document can be sufficient to get the job done; likewise, an exhaustive 10-page report is sometimes what’s needed to give the reader the depth of information they desire. The key is to be objective and thorough.

Target audience

Before you begin, you must define who it is that you desire to reach based on your business growth goals. This is key to determining both the topic you should cover and the approach you should take in doing so.

For your white paper to be successful, you need to make sure that it addresses a need or issue that is common among this audience and that it provides answers and insights in language and on a level they will find relatable.

For example, a white paper on social media aimed at reaching C-suite-level marketing executives would be much different than one on the same subject targeted to entrepreneurs who are launching a new business.

Content and voice

Your white paper must maintain a sense of objectivity. This is the time to persuade through logic, not emotion.

If a reader feels manipulated, then they will view your report with suspicion, and you will lose credibility by association – the exact opposite of the outcome you desire.

Establish a strong sense of credibility by covering all aspects of your chosen subject – both positive and negative. You may even go so far as to compare and contrast your product with others.

Remember to do your homework. Unlike a blog post that represents your own point of view, a good white paper should incorporate research from other respected sources to substantiate your points. Your job is to pull together the existing data and information on your subject, offer thoughtful analysis and provide your own unique insights.

Don’t be afraid to share the types of insider information you’d normally reserve for paying clients. Doing so will only whet your reader’s appetite to seek out more of your expertise.

Make sure you conclude with a call to action. Don’t go straight for the kill with a pitch like “For more information, call our sales department.” Instead, provide options that allow your reader to further their engagement with your brand, whether that’s by subscribing to your blog or e-newsletter, passing your white paper along to their friends and colleagues via social media networks or downloading other white papers on related topics.

Design

Keep in mind: it’s a white paper, not a bland paper. Just because it’s factual and objective in nature doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t take care to ensure that the information is presented in a visually appealing manner that is a good representation of your brand.

Use charts, graphs and images wherever possible to illustrate your point. And make sure that your choice of typography and colors makes it easy to read, whether on screen or in hard copy form.

Marketing

Your job doesn’t end when you put the final touches on your white paper. After all, it can’t help you get customers if customers don’t know where to find it.

For your white paper to be read, you need to market it well and to the right audience. Promoting your white paper includes everything from having the right title to employing effective distribution methods.

Your white paper is more likely to be read if it is clearly labeled with a strong title. The title of your white paper must be focused and ultra-specific. It should be as concise as possible while communicating to the reader exactly what they can expect to learn from it.

When it comes to spreading the word about your white paper, there are many avenues you can take.

Include links to your white paper in your company’s e-newsletter. When you do so, boost your chances of a click-through by linking directly to a specific section of the white paper that’s most relevant to the content of your newsletter. Instant gratification works in your favor here.

Don’t forget to spread the word about your white paper to your fans and followers on Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter, using Twitter’s hashtag function to target users searching for a specific topic. Discussion boards focused on topics pertaining to your subject matter are another outlet where you can promote your white paper. You can also use pay-per-click advertising to put your white paper in front of people who are actively searching online for information about your topic.

If you have more than one white paper, make sure to provide responders with the opportunity to download other white papers that might interest them. Also, create a dedicated resource center on your own website where all of your white papers can live.

When in doubt, send it out. Direct mail marketing is not dead, so use email or mail to put your white paper in the hands of your target audience. And don’t be afraid to hit up the same list more than once. On the second pass, you might catch the eye of a reader who either overlooked your offer the first time or might not have been ready to act on it previously.

See your expertise transformed into leads

A good white paper does require a significant amount of time and effort to develop; however, the potential for return on your investment is great.

According to a survey published in October 2011 by Eccolo Media, technology buyers regard white papers as the most influential type of marketing collateral, with 65 percent citing white papers as “very” or “extremely influential” when making a purchasing decision.

If you select a topic that’s important to your target audience, provide them with information that’s truly valuable and useful and market your white paper effectively, you’ll have successfully built a powerful lead-generating engine, as more and more prospective new customers discover who you are and the wealth of expertise you have to offer.